by Elizabeth G.

It’s been a while since New Year’s (5 and a half months almost) and I’ve done a lot of reflection on what my New Year’s Resolution was: no more living in fear.

I’ve always had a problem with irrational fear.  Fear of what people will think of me, fear of what someone will say, fear of making a mistake.  For years, I have allowed these fears to run my life.  And I said to myself 5 and a half months ago that I’d stop that.

I’m not sure that I’ve done very well.  I still have days where I avoid doing things because I’m afraid that I’ll have to confront somebody over the smallest thing.  Like questioning a library fine I didn’t think was correct.  (It wasn’t, and it took me 4 days to walk literally next door and talk to them about it.)

So now I have a giant confrontation that I’m in pieces over: asking my landlord to let me keep my cat under any circumstances possible. I’m terrified they’ll say no, and that I won’t find anyone to take care of him for me while I figure something else out over the next few months and I’ll have to give up the creature that I love dearly and who has brought so much joy to my life.

I am scared.  And I’m not sure what to do with it.  I would really like to have a stiff drink before going in, but as I A) Have to drive there and B) Cannot drink in the States, that’s just not an option.  SO I’ll just have to skip Yoga, drive up North and have a drink AFTER confronting them.

In the end, it will work out.  Right?  Right?!

God, I really hope this works out.

Edit: Why does WordPress think the sentence “I am scared” is written in passive voice?  How much LESS passive could that be?  Edit: That’s the last time I post late at night.  Thank you to my boyfriend for pointing out what an idiot I am.